he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
