I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
