So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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