I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
