Joe is yelling at the trees again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
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They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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