whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize