There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
