apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
