my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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