Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
