so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
