It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
