she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
