I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
