do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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