No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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