I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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