Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Two words: nipple clamps
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