If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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