All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
