Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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