She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
