she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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