Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woke up backwards on a recliner
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Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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