I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
