I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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