Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
