i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
