I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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