And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
