Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
