im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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