They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
