there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
