come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
