It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
