Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
