SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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