So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize