If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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