Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You took a bar mat shot.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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