Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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