fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
