I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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