You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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