David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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