Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
