Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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