I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
do nipples grow back?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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