The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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