Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
