he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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