We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
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