And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish I only lived at night.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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