I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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