I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
