Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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