i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
