Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
