last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
