New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
